Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships for Teens on the Road to Improvement

Aug 31, 2006 | Commentary


Richard O. Jones

How Not to Build an Unhealthy Relationship

Believe it or not, many people are gluttons for punishment and aren't content unless they've created misery for themselves. These are the people that love to hate their self-manufactured stress and drama. Below are some of the traits that people destined for unhealthy relationships practice on a regular basis. Unless your goal is to live a bitter lonely life, don't make a habit of any of the following:

1.         Rely on the other person. Take care of the other person first. Work on building their self-esteem. Know what their interests, goals and values are so you can adjust your interests, goals, and values accordingly. Forget about yourself. Forget the anger, loneliness and lost feelings. Using drugs/alcohol/gambling might help.

2.         Judge and blame. Nothing pushes people farther apart than blame. Trying to understand each other only confuses things and is too much like work. Make up your own mind and stick to it.

3.         Avoid conversation. To build an unhealthy relationship, you really should not communicate in a healthy manner. Being sarcastic, threatening and arguing all the time is much better. Remember not to share anything or you might get too close. Being silent when something is putting the longevity of the relationship at risk is another sure relationship breaker.

4.         Don't work on resolving issues. Ignore the problems and then it's as if they never existed. You won't have any trust in each other and you can never be honest with each other, but that stuff is really overrated anyway.

5.         Isolate yourself. Even if it means planning ahead, avoid problems and each other by isolating yourself. You can set and watch TV all the time. This is a great way to ignore each other. Music works too, although not as well as TV.

6.         Dream the impossible dream. If you want to live in true misery, then expect the impossible. Expect people to be perfect. Rely on someone else to make you happy. Fantasize as much as possible about your ideal life, but do not act on any of your wishes. Live with that frustration and disappointment.

Richard O. Jones is a public speaker, clean comedian, and emcee. To book him for any engagement email: or go to website for details:


Share This