These women may be fabulously talented, beautiful and charismatic, but when it comes to pulling it all together fashion-wise, they all resemble Humpty Dumpty after the fall. Hopeless!
Still, despite the fiascoes that litter the landscape, there was some great fashion news to celebrate in 2003 -- unlike years past, coming up with 10 Terrors was much harder than usual. Many long-term thread-bare bombs reinvented themselves during the past year. After all, if someone like The Duchess of York can look fit and fabulous, hope springs eternal for us all!
Ten Titans of Fashion Terror that, in 2003, ran the gamut of style-free excess from trashy to flashy, frumpy to dumpy and every egregious variation in between. When it comes to fashion, one must take a petrifying peek at these walking wardrobe wrecks at your own risk -- unless, of course, you like couture catastrophes of the legendary kind. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, one must never underestimate the potential pitfalls that occur when big money and bade taste collide.
Here's hoping 2004 continues the terrific trend of stars dressing up, fashion moving forward and consummate style staying put. After all, the essence of real style never changes -- only its temporary interpretation. Happy New Year . . . . . and remember: Dressing well really is the best revenge!
The Fabulous Fashion Independents of 2003:
Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Garner, Diane Lane, Salma Hayek, Oprah Winfrey, Katie Holmes, Tippi Hedren, Beyoncé, Faith Hill, Sarah Jessica Parker, HRH Countess of Wessex Sophie Rhys-Jones
The Worst Dressed Women of 2003:
10. Lara Flynn Boyle: Sometimes a single fiasco is all it takes that tutu terror was one of the all-time worst fashion mistakes! A beautiful face . . . but no taste . . . what a waste!
9. Courtney Love: The torrid temptress of fashions "Rock Pack" is the undisputed queen of tack.
8. Melanie Griffith: Melanie defines "fatal fashion folly" A botoxd cockatoo in a painting by Dali!
7. Missy Elliot: Missy's experiencing a bling-bling take-over -- time to lower the wattage and get a makeover!
6. Celine Dion: Half-sequined scarecrow, half-gaudy acrobat -- Is it Abe Lincoln in drag? And I'll leave it at that!!!
5. Jessica Simpson: Forget putting her stylist on suspension -- just clean out that closet, and hire a magician!
4. Diane Keaton: In prudish fashion pitfalls that bury her beauty, it could be Queen Victoria on jury duty! Dowdy, dumpy, and frumpy!
3. Shania Twain: What can I say? In buckled bombs and country-fried kitsch. Has Calamity Twain, popped a stitch!
2. A TIE --- Madonna/Britney Spears: So many tacky trends, so little time -- please, will someone arrest The Kissin Cousins of Couture Crime!
And at the top of the list
1. Paris Hilton: How are you gonna keep em down on the farm after they've seen Pareé. Grab the blinders here comes Paris. From cyber disgrace to red carpet chills -- she's the vapid Venus of Beverly Hills!
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