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Whenever we hear the words used in this title we always think about the man involved. We always assume that there is some kind of conflict between a man and the mother of his child. In all actuality “baby mama drama” could not be dealing with the man at all.

It could be between the man’s new interest and the mother of his child. All too often relationships are ended due to a conflict between a person’s present and their past. Everyone knows that this is a problem but the question is – Whose responsibility is it to fix it?

Whenever this question is asked, people are quick to say it’s the man’s responsibility. So what is to be said when the man has done all he can, yet his baby’s mama keeps bringing havoc to his present relationship? Is it now open for the current girlfriend/wife to confront the baby’s mama, instead of using the man as the mediator? Or is this considered overstepping boundaries and just cause for more drama?

A friend of mine, Pam, is going through this problem as we speak. Her fiancé’s baby’s mama is trying her hardest to trigger conflict with her. She does all kind of things – calls all hours of the night, shows up (uninvited) to family events, and even tries to send secret love letters and photos in the diaper bag.

The man has constantly told her to back off. He is making it very clear that their only communication is due to the fact that they have a son together. It is clear to me that she is just trying to break them up with all this drama. Either she wants him back or she just doesn’t want to see him happy. I know this is a way out situation, most of the time it isn’t this serious. It’s usually just a matter of “who do you have around my child?”

My advice to Pam was to talk to the baby’s mama, woman to woman, not to be confrontational but just to let her know that she will not tolerate the disrespect. Sometimes words can be twisted and construed into what you want to hear when they are coming from someone you’re in love with. It could just be that hearing it from Pam will let her realize that her relationship is over. I think she doesn’t see Pam as a threat because Pam has allowed this to go on for so long (a year) without saying anything. Pam needs to let her presence be known.

Consequently, if you are experiencing “baby mama drama” put up your flag and claim your territory. Some people might see this as overstepping boundaries but she has already crossed the line. Therefore the line is blurred and it won’t matter if you jump on the other side.

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