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Have you ever found yourself in a relationship and not known how you got there? One day you wake up and find your feet planted in the mud. I’m not talking about that good feeling you get when you realize you’re in love. I’m talking about that feeling when you look at someone and start to think; how did I end up with you? I’m talking about when you want to leave but you don’t know how you got there.

It’s like someone dropped you off in the wilderness and you don’t know which way is home. That’s when you realize the mud in which you stand, is really quicksand and you’re sinking into a place that you can’t get out.

Sometimes the quicksand can be time. We often use “time” as a reason for staying in a situation that we, and everyone around us, know isn’t good for us. We prioritize time as if we were Swiss watchmakers or something. How often have we heard “… but we’ve been together so long”?

Maybe, the quicksand can be a fear of what else is out there. We sometimes find ourselves staying in a situation for convenience. It’s a comfortable situation and we are not willing to give the effort to look somewhere else.

Then other times, it could be that we don’t want to hurt the person that we are with so we just stay. Not realizing that in the end we have ultimately hurt this person more by standing on them and not giving them the opportunity to find that person who might really want them.

We all know that quicksand is powerful stuff; the more you try to fight it the more it pulls in gulps you. That’s why sometimes you feel like you’re fighting a losing battle. Some of us end up giving in and before you know it we are submerged by the mud.

Others are more resourceful and look for ways to help them out. Instead of fighting or struggling they look for a branch or vine that might be overhead to pull themselves out, or maybe let out a call for help so someone could come and rescue them.

I know its been said time and time again but communication is key in any relationship. If you feel yourself sinking into quicksand the best thing to do is tell your partner. Tell them your branches of true feelings; let them know about your vines of uncertainty.

You might think that you’re hurting their feelings but nothing hurts more than living a lie. Lots of times when we find ourselves in a situation we don’t want to be in we try to fight our way out instead of using our natural resources of communication.

Contact urbanchic@blackvoicenews.com for information on anything you see on this page.

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