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Pump Your Brakes

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Have you ever found yourself in a relationship and wondered how you got there? Things just seem to be moving along and before you know it, someone is telling you that they’re in love. You find yourself sitting and thinking who gave them the green light.

It’s hard to tell if the person is moving too fast because of control or if they need to be in a relationship. It’s even worse when you like the person and don’t want to lose them.

There’s a fine line between slowing down and stopping. So how do you tell someone that you still want to see them but you think things are moving kind of quickly?

A friend of mine is having that problem as I speak. A lot of people have told her that she should just tell him straight out – “I really like you but things are going too fast”. That (like most things) is easy to say but not easy to do. You have to weigh in a lot of factors. One problem could be that telling this person to slow down could make them upset and totally back off.

I told her about a situation I had where I was genuinely fond of a man. He was everything that I wanted at that time and I really enjoyed his company. Things were great between us until I felt the pressure. He was making way too many plans for the future and I just wasn’t sure. I found myself confused and frustrated.

To alleviate this pain I decided to let him know that I thought he was moving too fast for me. His reaction was very unexpected. He took it the wrong way and decided that I was trying to tell him that I really didn’t want to be with him. In a rage he walked away from me, never to be seen again. I remember my last words to him were “I didn’t say stop, I said slow down! Pump the brakes don’t slam on them!”

Obviously that statement didn’t work on him. In retrospect I really wouldn’t want to be with someone who would just walk out on me without giving me a chance to explain.
So, I feel that you should tell the person the way you feel.

It might end in a bad way but if that person cares about you they will understand and try to adjust. The method you choose to use when telling them doesn’t matter. Just be sure that you let them know. It will eliminate a lot of stress on you and keep from making matters worst by leading someone on.

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