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The Ex Factor

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While sitting at home last night I answered a phone call that was unexpected. It was my recently ex-boyfriend. He said he was just calling to see how I was doing. The conversation evolved and we began to talk like nothing ever happened. We chatted about the way our week was going, funny situations that occurred, and even the price of gas.

It was just like old times until… He tried to tell a funny story that I didn’t find so amusing. He asked “you wanna hear something hilarious?” I said yes expecting to hear something about a friend or co-worker.

Imagine my surprise when he started his story “okay, I went out with this woman the other night and…” My ears could not hear the rest of the story. Due to the fact that my heart had sunk into my stomach, I just assumed that my hearing and ability to speak went along with it.

The only thing that snapped me back into reality was him uttering the words “do you want to meet for lunch at the end of the week?” Before I allowed my brain to make its way back to its normal place, I said yes. As I hung up the telephone I wondered, could I really be his friend or am I kidding myself? I have never been able to be friends with any ex-boyfriend.

We all know that x symbolizes the unknown, so when we end relationships are we supposed to unknow the person? And if so, what happens to the friendship that was encompassed in the relationship? Does it dissipate or is it sitting there waiting to be had?

After discussing this with a few people I’ve come to the conclusion that it depends on the situation. In some instances a friendship would be too painful. Though, in most cases a friendship can assist with the pain of separation. Just being cordial can make things a lot easier. A friendly lunch or a casual conversation can allow you to make the transition without feeling like you’ve lost someone you care about. Who knows, it could also be a way to talk things out about what went wrong.

So, when possible, you should keep the ties that bind your friendship. If it’s too soon just wait; remember time heals all wounds. This person could be one of those three real friends you have in your life.

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