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Strategy for Finding Romance after Fifty -- 2 of 3 parts

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Richard O. Jones
As a divorced senior with renewed interest in dating, I have discovered counterproductive strategies that senior singles employ, which serves to keep them unattached, though many profess contentment in their solitude.  Nevertheless there are actually millions of singles on Internet dating websites including hundreds of thousands of seniors. I am personally acquainted with three married couples including a pastor and his wife that met online. It is an easy, safe, and convenient method of prescreening potential mates prior to meeting them.

However, based on my empirical knowledge, successful relationships are an anomaly because the men and women online are exaggerating their good traits and failing to mention or downsizing their shortcomings.

For example, in my online profile, I stated that I don’t smoke and prefer a woman that does not smoke. Eventually a 60-year-old woman that claimed to be a nonsmoker contacted me. When we met, her clothing and hair had the hint of tobacco. Before I left her home, her adult son came home.  After our brief introduction, he asked his mother for a cigarette.

She sheepishly looked at me and said that she can quit anyway and only smoke one or two cigarettes a day. Although I replied that it was no big deal, I realized that her

quickness to prevaricate likely goes beyond her smoking. For her apparent prevarication habits, I decided to sidestep this friendship and we never became better acquainted.

According to several women that I’ve met online, most of the men they meet lie in their profiles.  Women have stated that some men tell such blatant lies that as soon as you meet them you see the discrepancy. For example, a couple women have told me that they met men who were at least two inches shorter than their profile claimed. Men typically lie about their true intentions, their professions, and age. One Black woman told me that she even met a white man that tried to deceive her that he was biologically Black.  One of the strategies that online seniors need to employ is truthfulness.  They need to adapt the attitude that they rather be rejected based on truth than accepted based on lies. Insecurity is the main reason online romance seekers lie.

However, the risk of being rejected is reduced when the truth is told.  No matter what personal trait or background a person is insecure about there are people that would accept them. In preparing for this article, I asked a 55-year-old woman if she would date a man if she knew that he was bisexual. It surprised me that she said that she could as long as the two of them used protection during sexual contact.

However, she stated that she would stop dating him if she discovered on her own that he was bisexual. The point is that when a person tells the truth, no matter how insecure the person feels they will find acceptance based on their honesty.


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