One of the major misconceptions that is passed along from elder females that is detrimental to modern marriages is 1 Timothy 5:8 –
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. According to AARP’s Study on Divorce, marital discord and divorce is on the rise even among Christian seniors because many senior women do not feel that they are adequately provided for as the Bible said a man should provide. However modern times are not like biblical times. In the early 1800s women were not allowed to be educated beyond grammar school or involved in politics because they were considered feebleminded and mentally challenged. A woman needed a man to provide because she was unjustly discriminated against. Until Women’s Liberation of the 1970s, women were an underclass. However, women now, unlike females of old, are legally equal and highly educated, free to vote, own businesses, and prosper without restraints. Millions of women in the United States are successful professionals, politicians, and business leaders while millions of men are stay-home dads and househusbands. There are millions of men who are out of work, in low wage jobs, and discriminated against because of their race and/or criminal past. Many hardworking males lack good marketable skills. Some are entrepreneurs in struggling businesses, and for various other reasons the man is not always the breadwinner. Many marriages have crumbled when women dogmatically hold on to the antiquated doctrine.
Married elders of empirical wisdom must begin to demonstrate that the concept of ‘providing’ extends beyond food, shelter, and household necessities. The health of a modern marriage is not predicated on which spouse bought the milk or paid the larger portion of the rent. No man should be lazy and refuse to contribute to the household; however, there are essential facets of providing that are too often ignored. Providing, by the standards of today’s society extends to good parenting; commitment; love; integrity; strength; protection; trust; spiritual foundation and many others godly virtues. However in parts of Asia, Africa, and the Middle East women are not legally or by virtue of their religion equal to men and are subject to male domination and therefore require male provision for their mere survival. But in the United States women have gained their full and equal rights under the law and cannot demand equality and simultaneously to be taken care of by cherry-picking the scriptures; such actions are destroying many marriages.
In order for our marriages to withstand the storms of the world, our elders and family leaders must begin to teach how believers can adapt the scriptures to best serve our reality in the 21st Century while continuing to follow the spirit of the Bible.
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