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What I Told My Teenage Daughters About Dating Part 2 of 2

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Richard O. Jones
Don't let the pop culture society intimidate you into becoming anything less than mature adult-minded parents. You can't very well command your teens' mature thinking if you're a hip-hop parent with all the latest perspectives, slang and fashions. If you are busy trying to be hip instead of sound, you will likely endorse early dating and other disruptive behavior. A student with less than a high school education is unprepared to begin one-on-one dating. I made sure my teens understood that I was proud not to be like their friends' parents that allowed adult dating practices prematurely.

One of the first things that I wanted to achieve while raising my daughters was to clearly define our roles. As the father, I told them, that my duty was to guide them through childhood into adulthood with as much wisdom and as few damaging experiences as possible. Childhood is the preparation for adulthood as dating is the preparation for marriage. Dating on a one-on-one level should not occur until such time that the daters are shopping for a possible spouse and this should not occur prior to high school graduation. Casual dating leads to casual sex, which results in 70% of Black children being born out of wedlock and sired by a large percentage of men that deny them.

I explained to my daughters that men would always be interested in dating and engaging in noncommittal sexual relationships. There is no reason to rush into something that is never going anywhere. The objective of going successfully through adolescence and teen years can be permanently derailed by temporal outside interest. I saw my goal as getting my daughters to see these things for themselves instead of me demanding it of them. I used the television, newspapers and magazines articles, statistics, and the latest movies as my allies and not my adversaries.

When there was a TV show or movie that flaunted the looseness and provocative dress of a female teen, I would ask my girls what impression this girl was sending. Then I would compare the dress, mannerisms, and/or language of the teen with the dress, mannerisms, and/or language of the prostitutes in a movie. Sometimes when you really look objectively at the way some girls dress in high school, its not much different than the prostitutes walking the street. The same way the men in passing cars are attracted to the streetwalker in her short skirt and see-thru blouse is similar to the way the boys at school are attracted to the provocative student that is advertising to be dated. If the girl dresses like a hooker, she can expect to attract boys approaching her for dates. Even if she dresses conservatively many boys will see her as a challenge and still pursuit her as a conquest. This is merely for his immature ego because at the high school level education should be the priority. How can you concentrate on academics with boys calling you on the phone? In the final analysis, I impressed upon my daughters that a mature man wants a refined woman that have delayed instant gratification for a more sustaining relationship.



Email: richardojones1@verizon.net

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