Do this by secretly getting their fingerprints on a clean drinking glass. To do this, serve them a drink in a smooth flat surface plastic or glass drinking utensil. Make sure that you dont touch the glass by using a napkin to carry it. Later put the glass or cup in a plastic bag and wrap the bag in a heavy towel. Then store the glass away for future reference it needed. Find out from the police department or a private detective how to go about getting the fingerprints checked. There will be a nominal fee for the service. Also secretly record the license number of every car they drive.(4) Keep a journal of every time your new friend promises you something or tell you something that sounds suspicious and/or turns out to be false. Continue this practice well into the relationship. With this written and documented record you will easily be able to see the pattern of deception if one exists.
(5) Record every money transaction. Whether it is a personal loan or a gift make sure all loans are by check or money order with the word loan included on the instrument. Never give a cash loan. It is not a crime to continually borrow from a person but to have proof of the loan may help get your money back when the game is over.
(6) Keep a record of the gifts you and your new friend exchange. Do this at least for the first full year. Save the receipts. This way you will have concrete evidence to help you realize the foundation holding up your relationship.
(7) Dont come to the financial aid of your new friends failing business or exciting business venture. If their name or word were worth anything they would be able to go to a bank or one of their many business associates for money. Ask yourself, why am I the only person this man or woman can go to for help? What type of reputation have they built over the years?
(8) Dont become a Good Fairy or Guardian Angel and try to save or redeem a recently released prison convict, recovering drug user, alcoholic, habitual gambler, or any other social deviant. Dont make your home a halfway house. Dont try to win points with God with your sexuality or checkbook.
(9) Dont trust anyone who never introduces you to his or her family or longtime friends. Friends and family are often clues to a persons true nature and identity.
(10) If they claim to belong to a certain church or major charitable organization call or write the pastor or president and ask for character references. If you find the pastor or president doesnt know this person, another red flag should go up.
(8 of 10 parts)
Richard O. Jones is author of "Embracing Monogamy in the Face of Temptation The Black mans Guide to Commitment." He is currently collecting information on relationship of single adults over forty and invites your opinion. To be interviewed by email contact Mr. Jones at: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
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