There are many churches that have women ministries and male ministries where the ability to love, respect, and understand each other is (or should be) taught. Although living together without the benefit of marriage is discouraged, the fact is that it exist heavily throughout the world, our communities and even within the church. Therefore couples cohabitating must also be taught. One of the basic foundations of a viable relationship is a good understanding, which will inevitably decrease the likelihood of violence and homicide against each other. For example: Many Black women are too in-your-face mouthy fail to understand that Black men have a low tolerance for being disrespected. Respect is very important to a man. When a woman disrespects a man, especially repeatedly, his love for her flies out the window and it comes easier for him to assault her. And when a woman feels unloved, her likelihood of adultery or breaking up increases, which often is when the path to violence and/or murder, enters the relationship. Of course, this is an assumption on my part that Black women’s mouth and disrespect often puts them in harms way. This assumption is based on the fact that Black women have the highest rate of being murdered by their husbands or boyfriends than any other race. If I remember correctly, by Rhianna’s own admission, it was her mouth that caused Chris Brown to lose his cool.
As we grow in religion it becomes a social guide. We learn how to respect and to love one another. These basic necessities of a good relationship is not often taught in the home. Many Black children never witnessed love and respect in the home because most were raised in broken homes. Most Black girls never had a good relationship with their real fathers and grew up hearing older women talk down about men. A deep-seated disrespect is ingrained in these girls and raises its ugly head in relationships. In men without guidance the ugly head of violence raises up whenever he feels his right to respect being violated. A good men’s ministry can help him harness this rage. A good women/men’s ministry creates the standards that measures the quality of the soul as well as the behaviors of the person. It becomes an attitude toward life. Some things are holy, some things are not. It is holy to have a good relationship. And when the struggles of the world begin to test who you are at the core, we have something to which we can cling, even as we drift a bit from the moorings of our teachings. All the absolutes begin to be tested. We begin to understand that religion, love, and respect is more of a deep-down struggle to believe and to do than simply a way of acting, sterile on paper while full of thorns in the flesh.
Finally, as we become more mature in religion and well-settled in undrestanding, it is clear that the moral direction we have followed, paved the path to a good destiny and family unit. We look back and understand just how unimportant the worldly issues were that once rocked our world with argument and violence. Religion itself is many times older in years than the wisest person alive. The wisdom of man cannot stand against the wisdom of God. There is no one on earth that can compete with the proven methods of following a good religion, which is the foundation of a good family. Through the love of God, more men would realize that their strength and real manhood is not in the power in which they can strike but in the power in which they can love and the self-control they can express.
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