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Asking Men Why They Cheat is Like Asking Cats Why They Jump the Fence: Part 1 of 2

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Last week I saw an online video interview conducted at a barbershop by celebrity host Niecy Nash. She asked several of the barbers and their customers the same old worn-out repetitious question, “Why do men cheat?” The general consensus leaned towards blaming the woman for letting herself go. A couple of the men stated that once many women get their man, they put on the pounds and their sex appeal slips. Other men stated that their spouse often becomes less receptive to their sexual advances; therefore, the men justifiably seek more receptive territory.

The WHY MEN CHEAT question is a finger-pointing exercise of futility with each gender pointing at the other. The average man will blame the woman as Adam blamed Eve for their disobedience in the Garden of Eden, while women generally agree that all men are after one thing - pure and simple. However, I believe that both are marginally right but mostly wrong. There’s no universally acceptable explanation. Nevertheless, I have my own theory as to WHY MEN CHEAT, which will surely meet some resistance from both genders.

Infidelity, as I prefer to call it rather than cheating, in a relationship is often a sign that a godly moral code is lacking and usually not a willful act of being deceitful. Let’s look at this issue without emotional influence but with biblical history and nature as a guide. In the book of Romans (NIV) 7:14-18 Apostle Paul explains how the will of his flesh often overpowers the will of his spirit when he said, “14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

Notice that Paul, in verse 18, refers to his sinful nature. However, Paul was referring to all sins and humans weaknesses of the flesh and not sexual sin particularly. The flesh acts on natural instinct not by spiritual guidance or moral codes.

It seems to me that the male gender regardless of his species, animal, human, birds, whatever, have always, by natural instinct, mated with a number of females of that species. Centuries years ago one man could possibly possess a harem filled with slave girls, concubines, and wives with whom he mated just as one stallion, in a herd of horses, mates with many mares, etc. On the other hand, females of various species have used their charm to attract the various males in an effort to find a suitable mate for impregnating her. Many animals, for example, give off a chemical scent called a pheromone to attract a mate. The scent tells members of the same species that the animal is ready to reproduce.

When a male, human or animal, proves himself worthy, and is accepted by the females, he usually has a rich supply of females to choose from. For example: When a female dog goes into heat and the male dogs smell the pheromone in the air they rush to accept the invitation. They fight for the female dog (or the forbidden ‘B’ word) and the winner gets the prize. Now the female dog is not being a slut - it’s nature. And the male dogs are not cheating on the female dog they were with the night before - it’s nature - natural instinct!

Unless man is taught properly, he will be controlled by nature and natural instinct such as the animal species as the Apostle Paul stated. Fortunately, God made humans above animals. We can be taught to have a spiritual nature, a conscience, and moral values. Very few animals and humans without proper intervention possess the art of sexual discretion or monogamy. God gave men lust and the pleasure of sex to assure the human species go forward and multiply. Men are lust-driven, not commitment-driven. Commitment must be taught. Women long suspected that men were only after one thing - to quench the lust raging inside that God put there to assure the survival of the species. But animals are reproduction-driven. Animals are not acting out their mating impulses in lust but out of the natural instinct to reproduce. In fact, humans are one of the few species on earth, including dolphins, and certain chimpanzees and apes, that seek sexual relationships for pleasure and social reasons and not only for reproduction.

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0 # wellillbe 2012-12-21 20:00
And just like women don't trust me I don't trust them, I don't hate them I just don't trust them.. Thats why marriage is not my vocabulary..
0 # wellillbe 2012-12-21 19:49
I'm not the average male because I don't blame no one for none my actions.. I've been single for five years because I was cheated on by my ex girlfriend but I didn't her for it because I thought maybe it was something I did wrong, don't know what it was because I sure didn't cheat on her.. It has left a scar on my heart and made me avoid speaking or being friendly with other women and has made me deside to stay to myself because women have problems just like us men have problems and I have to many to be dealing with someone else's problems.. I said that to say this, when I was with my ex she was the girl that I was with because I loved her to much to cheat on her.. Guess my manhood wasn't big enough for her but anyway now that I'm single I now know that's the way it's going to be for the rest of my life..
0 # Guest 2012-01-14 15:38
The question really should be: "Why do women willingly have sex without getting the 'Ring-on-the-Finger- First'?"

Notice that if all women everywhere simply held to the rule .... "I ONLY sleep with the man who puts a Ring on My Finger-First", then all cheating everywhere around the globe would instantly disappear. Cheating would not be possible.

So the question is, "Why don't women hold to that hard and fast "Ring-on-My-Finger-F irst" rule?"

Could it be that women are NOT naturally monogamous after-all? Indeed, that is the problem. As evolutionary science has shown, its always in a woman's self interest to "trade-up" for either "resources, security or good genes". Thus when life's circumstances change, a "monogamous woman" can in the blink of an eye , "cheat" or choose another life-long partner.

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