Many African American adults, including seniors, are living under a cloud of sexual guilt and/or frustrations, according to my observations over the past 20+ years being up close and personal in the lives of African American church folk. I have noticed that while dozens perhaps hundreds of 2000 year old biblical ways and customs have been replaced by the desires and commands of the society of today Black church folk are the last to continue to try to clench to the ancient customs.
Its not that Black folk actually obey the ancient customs such as the rule against sex before marriage or sex outside of marriage but Blacks, specially female, stress out the most over such outdated laws more than other females. The act of living in a double-minded condition causes the unpleasant feeling of being a hypocrite. This little observation might explain why Black women have the reputation of being angry and hard to get along with. The act of publicly holding on to the values men set for women two millenniums ago,especially after most other American women and society have adjusted the rule to fit standards of today.
Black women, according to public consensus are angry and have the hardest time finding and keeping a man. When they do compromise their values, they windup feeling guilty and humbly shows up at church, with the appearance of sainthood, to pray and ask for forgiveness or seriously slacks off going to church altogether. The pressures on Black women are too great. They have to understand that the Bible was created for humans, not humans for the Bible. When a standard no longer is acceptable by the people the customs appropriately change. Take abortion for instance. Abortion is covered in the Bible under “Thy Shall Not Kill.” However, today abortions are commonplace. Take homosexuality for instance. The Bible speaks against homosexuality; however, today homosexuals can legally marry in six American states. Take women preachers as another example. For centuries women were not allowed to preach in church, as forbidden in the Bible; however today there are multitudes of women preachers across America. At one time, women didn’t wear pants to church but just look around your church next week and see for yourself if that still holds true.
So why are Black women the last ones stuck on those ancient sexually frustrating laws about fornication, celibacy, and waiting for marriage before sex? After all, didn’t God give them a right to choose and a sound mind? Being pregnant and alone is tough enough but most Black churches take the additional step to snub the expectant mother.
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