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Love is Often that Proverbial Carrot on a Stick

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There’s usually one party to a bad breakup who feels as if he or she had been used or played a fool. This notion about being a fool is nothing new. Let’s go back to old school music when the freshman seniors of today were in their teens, twenties, and thirties. During the 70s, singer Bill Withers recorded a song to let the world know that being used, in his case, was not half bad. ” "Use Me" is a song composed and originally recorded by Bill Withers, and was included on his 1972 album Still Bill. It is his second biggest hit in the United States, reaching No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and the Recording Industry Association of America certified the song Gold. During this same era another popular song hit the airwaves about being a fool. "Everybody Plays the Fool" is the title of a popular song written by J.R. Bailey, Rudy Clark and Ken Williams. The song was nominated for a Grammy Award in the category Best R&B Song at the 1973 ceremony. The first recording of the song to reach the Top 40 in the United States was by the R&B group The Main Ingredient, and later make even more popular by singer Arron Neville. However, contrary to the above statements, as Tina Turner’s popular song in the 90s begs to differ with the question, “What’s Love Gotta Do With It?”

Unrequited love can be a bitter pill to swallow; however, often, bitter medicine can be good for you. When love is not returned we must learn not to become as bitter as the pill that life has prescribed. Usually unrequited love is the aftermath of someone falling in love. Falling into anything sounds like an accident, and when you fall, you are likely to get hurt.

To decrease your chances of being someone’s fool or being used, love should not be by accident but deliberate. I recently heard a man, who has been married three times and is now married to his third wife for over twenty-five years, say that he and his wife married for security and companionship and grew to love each other. I believe so many people get hurt because they fall in love instead of waltzing into it. Falling in love usually implies that someone is fixated on a certain good quality about the other person but has not yet really gotten to know that person. They have mistaken love for infatuation, which wears off when the real person emerges. If a person ever tells you or demonstrates, in no hidden terms, that he or she is not in love with you, yet you pursue him or her then you cannot in good conscientious run around whining about being hurt or used. The only person that played you for a fool or used you - was you.

Falling in love blinds you but taking deliberate steps into love with both eyes open usually won’t leave you feeling like a fool; however, the key to this scenario is honesty from both parties. Sometimes it disturbs me to hear so many women say that all men are dogs without acknowledging their role in this kissy-poo fiasco. The fact that a person is physically attracted to another can be mistaken for love. However, physical attraction well blended with mutual respect, friendship, plus similar views of life, morals values, and passionate feelings not shared with others is a good foundation for building love but not merely loneliness coupled with physical attraction.

To love someone in a romantic way when he or she loves us platonic way or erotic way, and yet we extend ourselves fully with the hope of receiving pure romantic love in return is not an example of being someone’s fool. It is an example of you fooling yourself. We cross over into the category of being a fool when we deceive ourselves into thinking that we can buy love with sex, money, or good deeds. We are also a fool to willfully become someone’s doormat in exchange for being allowed to chase that illusion of love being dangled on a stick.

Website: www.richardojoneslive.com

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