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Passion in Search of Commitment

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The word or term ‘Passion’ is general understood by most to mean a range of emotions from excited delight to lustful craze; however, commitment means different things to different people. To many men it is their hobby or profession they’re committed to, sometimes their mother - not marriage. To women it is their children – not husband. Commitment usually refers to a lifetime.

Most people from teenagers to senior citizens have experienced passion but very few have experienced genuine commitment. So few things in life rise to the high level of a commitment that it’s hard to define commitment in practical terms. In my view, no one who was ever married and later divorced was in a mutually committed marriage. In most marriages, vows of commitment are asked of the bride and groom with the ‘until death do you part’ question, to which they, to speed things along, answer, “I do.”

Though passion confused with commitment often drives the couple to the altar, passion does not a lifetime vow make. There are many valid reasons for divorce, no question about that, but whatever the reason, a divorce failed the commitment test. Many men fear commitment because they understand what commitment really means while most women fantasize the word. Commitment means forever. For most men, it’s hard to imagine himself, especially at a young age, voluntarily never enjoying the sensual passions of another female - for life - except the one his is marrying.

He knows in his heart that his bride will someday become unattractive, and likely crabby. Therefore, with that in mind, he anticipates, sooner or later he’s likely to break the commitment vow. And rather than break the commitment, men prefer not make a commitment. Men most likely avoid commitment to avoid trouble later.

Most women on the other hand, will hastily make the relationship or marital commitment even though she is convinced it will work. And if the woman harbors or acquires any outside attraction she figures that if she decides to cheat, she likely won’t get caught because she knows, statistically, men are caught twice as much as women because women are cleverer in that department. She further realizes that whether she’s married/committed or not, men will continuously present her with the opportunity and her decision to sample, pass, or play now and pray later is between her and her conscience.

Therefore, commitment is not a scary thing for women. Not to imply that most women cheat because I don’t think so. At least I never caught or suspected any woman cheating on me; however, that only gives stock to my earlier point that women are clever. But what I do know is that most, nearly all, of the scandals involving adultery it is the married man who is exposed – except for that one case in the Bible.

When I think of commitment, I think of God. I think of the way God wants our commitment. Not just a commitment as long as He is providing for all our needs but also a commitment when we are in the worst times of our lives. God wants us to love him with all of our heart, soul, and body. That is to say to passionately love him. This is another area where men fear commitment. Men want women to love them with the commitment that God wants and expects. Not just when times are good but when there’s no food on the table. When the rent is past due and when the flames of passion is on a low burner. Men realize that women commit according to their hopes and forsake commitment according to their fears. Anyone can quit, as more than 50% of failed marriages continuously prove, but to hold it together when all signs point towards quitting is rare and true commitment. It is as hard for a vigorous husband to commit to a crappy old woman as it is for a vibrant wife to commit to an old broke man. Passion is a present collectable today while commitment is a promise, potentially, collectable somewhere way down the road.

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