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Couple Married 85 years Advises on How to Stay Happily Married

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Dissolution of the marriage or legal separation of the parties may be based on either of the following grounds: (a) Irreconcilable differences. Irreconcilable differences are those grounds, which are determined by the court to be substantial reasons for not continuing the marriage and (b) Incurable insanity. A marriage may be dissolved on the grounds of incurable insanity only upon proof, including competent medical or psychiatric testimony, that the insane spouse was at the time the petition was filed, and remains, incurably insane. I would guess that at least half of all divorced women and one-fourth of all divorced men probably feel that they could have divorced on the grounds of their ex-spouses incurable insanity. However, in my opinion, couples that are spiritually evenly yoked and committed to their faith and marriage, with the absence of incurable insanity, can usually make it until death do them part, as they promised God in their marital vows.

United States marriage records bear fact that African Americans are the least to marry and the most likely to divorce. Personally, less than one-fifth of the married African American adults that I know have been married only once and to the same spouse for over twenty years. No race holds an exemplary record on marriage but African Americans are my personal frame of reference and the stats are dismal. I would venture to say, based on the hundreds of thousands of African Americans, of all ages, searching for love and/or companionship online, that most lack in good old fashion relationship know how.

Surprisingly, there are still good old fashioned God-fearing Christian couples that have mastered the art of togetherness without the help Steve Harvey’s book, who has been married three times, Oprah Winfrey’s advice, who never married, Dr. Phil’s therapy, who is not African American and doesn’t have the same issues, EHarmony.com matchmaking who is only interested in profits or any other source of modernization.

Recently, I read about a Craven County, North Carolina African American couple, Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher, in the Guinness World Records book for having the world record of the longest marriage for a living couple, 85 years. Herbert is 105 years old. His hearing is going but his mind is sharp. Zelmyra is 102 years. She uses a walker to get around the house and yard. The two of them can still give their reasons for marrying in 1924 and the love formula that has carried them for nearly a century.

“He was not mean; he was not a fighter,” Zelmrya said. “He was quiet and kind. He was not much to look at but he was sweet.” Apparently looks were not high on the chart of attraction as much as sweetness for Zelmyra.

For the expert advice from Mr. and Mrs. Fisher, which I cannot legally reprint without permission, go online and type these words into your browser: “World’s Longest-Married Couple Share Relationship Advice” or go to: www.twitter.com/longestmarried Website: www.richardojoneslive.com

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