Don’t personalize everything. Too many of people think they’re doomed because they find themselves in one bad relationship after another; therefore, unhappiness is their fate. However, the truth is that we’re much too often driven by primal instinct. In the lives of most people the number one social primal instinct is physical attraction. Fortunately physical attraction is enough to get us through a good weekend but unfortunately it’s not enough to build a relationship. Someone drooling over the perceived attractiveness of another, like an idol, impresses very few people for very long. Soon too the apple of the other’s eye will bore and start to push away. Such actions create resentment in the idol worshipper and they begin to emotionally act out in regrettable ways. They personalize the situation and began to think that they were taken advantage of. Not true.
Everything unfortunate in our lives should not be taken personally. Many dire situations are random such as the mishap of a car accident. Either you or the person in the other car intended to crash that day. Your accident was a totally random act. One of you were reckless and whoever was driving in that exact location, in that particular spot, at that precise moment, would have been involved in that random accident if they were not alert.
People who are prone to primal instinctual decisions are victims of their own immaturity. For some that magnetic force may not be physical attractiveness but something more tangible like material gain. Still the outcome is the same. People without scruples regarding intimacy and/or emotional maturity will continue to crash their mirage of a soul against the naive public as drunk drivers will continue to weave through traffic.
Physical attraction is often the calling card many men/women thrive to obtain and/or maintain. The downside of an affair built on physical attractiveness alone is that it’s not a guarantee of a relationship of substance. Emotional attractiveness, such as sharing several interests, tends to draw individuals into a closer bond. However, mental attractiveness is where a man/woman begins to realize that their intimate counterpart has a kind of character deserving of closer scrutiny. One or the other begins to discover personality traits never noticed before: strength, confidence, ability to handle stress, and lack of meanness/ selfishness. This is when the level of maturity is realized and appreciated.
The most common problem in a random relationship is resentment. However, resentment is the result of crashing bad and immature behavior into an innocent by-passer and a random relationship develops. Anyone who dashes down Relationship Road without a high degree of precaution will find themselves in a sequence of random acts of carelessness and it’s nothing to be personalized.
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