The strangest thing happened to me this past weekend. I went to a hospital in Los Angeles to visit a friend following his back surgery. While there, I ran into another old friend, a woman whom I haven’t seen in over thirty years. She was my buddy’s nurse in intensive care. She recognized me before I recognized her. After visiting with the patient, the nurse and I met in the cafeteria to recall the good old days back in the late 70s. I discovered through our conversation that her sister, an extremely beautiful girl that I knew well, had recently died of a suicidal drug overdose in that very hospital.
The nurse talked openly about her sister, who had the reputation of being promiscuous throughout her lifetime. I knew them both in high school. It always puzzled me that (I’ll call her Prissy) Prissy never used her beauty to marry a rich guy or break into show business. Instead, Prissy went from man to man leaving many broken hearted after she either cheated on him or left him for someone else. Her sister (I’ll call Nancy) Nancy confided in me that Prissy was never convinced that she was glamorous and sought acceptance from nearly every man she met.
I discovered that Prissy’s wild and loose sexual behavior was based on a psychological sexual disorder commonly mistaken as Nymphomania.
To protect Prissy’s memory as a decent woman that was severely stricken with a sexual disorder that drove her to suicide Nancy spoke in a low tone, “Prissy was not a slut and don’t you dare think she was. She had acceptance anxiety, which makes her act out.”
Within the next few days, I happened to be watching “Oprah” and her guest was Dr. Drew Pinsky, an addiction specialist and host of the VH1 reality series “Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew,” who said that sex addiction is the most hidden, most shameful disease in America. Dr. Drew said that promiscuity was misunderstood and that it wasn’t merely a sexual addiction but an intimacy disorder. He described it as a symptom of people who are afraid or don’t know how to obtain real intimacy without sex. Promiscuous people, men and women, mistakenly think they are loved when somebody is willing to have sex with them, but this is not always the case. They are normally desperate for any way to feel loved and don't really understand what love is While watching “Oprah” I discovered that sexual behavior becomes a problem and is considered compulsive when it is repeated enough to interfere with your daily life, selfesteem, sleep, and relationships.
Sex is a powerful driving force. Some people become completely preoccupied and obsessed with sex which can lead to dangerous behaviors and life threatening habits acted out through behaviors of sex addiction and acceptance anxiety. Like any source of pleasure, sex can become addictive, in which case, it becomes distorted and is used as a means of escape from the problems of everyday life. Rather than deal with the problem, fantasizing about the next or some past sexual activity leads to a feeling of comfort and encourages a person to proceed to turn the fantasy into reality. This is then followed by shame and remorse.
One believes the solution to coping with feelings is found in yet another sexual experience. The cycle continues, creating more and more damage to an already chaotic life. In some cases where treatment is not sought, sex addiction ends in suicide.
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