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When Your Children Humiliate You – You May (or May Not) Deserve It

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Many parents have felt humiliated by the actions of their children just as many have felt proud. Every parent likes to say, “That’s my son/daughter the brain surgeon, or the gold medalists, etc.” We see bumper stickers on vehicles exclaiming that the driver is the “Proud Parent of an Honor Student.”

However, we’re not likely to see “Proud Parent” bumper stickers for the over 2 million convicts in prison, the multitude of children on drugs, in gangs, unmarried with several babies, or the countless number now working in the porn industry.

There are millions of parents who are far less than proud of the paths that their children have chosen. Nevertheless, they must not allow the way that the public sees their child bring them to the level of humiliation. It sees to me that in order to be humiliated, it must be important to you how others view the situation. However, to be offended or insulted is more of how you view the situation. I like to think that my relationship with my children will always be too close to be humiliated by the viewpoint of the fickle public no matter what low level they succumb to. In fact, many years ago, one of my daughters danced in a strip bar. I didn’t like it but it didn’t humiliate me even though a few of my friends found out about it. The unintelligent and desperate choice was hers.

I recently read that actor Laurence Fishburne’s 19-year-old daughter Montana Fishbourne has elected of all the careers available to her to become a porn actress. The actions of this daughter is an exception to my humiliation rule because that girl knew that her actions would directly impact the public because of her father’s well-established good name, which was earned over her lifetime. This immature, thoughtless child is purposely being elevated by the Fishburne name only to use the platform for personal gain without consideration of her father who is in the public eye. For instance: It would be humiliating to President Obama if his daughters did such a thing. And it would also show their dishonor to their father and personal poor judgment. It is my hope that Mr. Fishbourne has the strength to forego the instinctual humiliation and say, “It’s in God’s hands.”

Parents with poor parenting skills and practices should be humiliated if their children are complete failures and/or idiots. Because it was in part the parents own doing that created the situation. Parents with good parenting skills and practices should be proud of their successful child because it was in part their good guidance that gave the child direction.

Being proud of your child is the opposite of being humiliated by your child; however, both are based on the views of other people. If I had the boastfulness to run around and brag that my son is an astronautical engineer for NASA; although, it was none of my doing then I should also accept the scenario of my son being a homosexual crack head, which was none of my doing either. I believe that pride or humiliation should be based on the fact that you aided and/or encouraged your child to that position in life. Otherwise you have no grounds to be humiliated or proud… It was all in God’s hand.


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0 # Guest 2010-09-03 08:57
Parents with poor parenting skills and practices should not be humiliated. A person needs to remember that these traits, society and television shows, create an illusion to society as well as children, that being amoral and baseless is acceptable. Blaming the parents on that level is just over the top. This is why we a have society who refuses to take responsibility for themselves, so they continue to blame their elders, their parents, their teachers, or just anybody that they can humiliate, violate and downright use, as a catalyst for their own failures. When a child turns about 8 years old, they begin to develop their own independent self and will create a self of worth and an identity for themselves, therefore mommy and daddy are no longer responsible for that child if they so choose to be a serial killer, while at the same time blaming their mother. T

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