Being in any kind of prison is a form of punishment but none is more emotionally punishing than a home where there is constant nagging and manipulation inflicted upon a husband by a wife, which will be referred to as Henpeck Prison. Many men escape this psychological torment through outside means such as adultery and substance abuse. Anything seems better than the life with abuse so the man runs after happiness, which is usually only a mirage. However, the good news is that you can escape Henpeck Prison without leaving home. Most women prefer an assertive man to a blindly obedient man. A little assertiveness can go a long way.
Anyone can be assertive but it involves practice. We can’t just one day say, “Hey I’m going to be assertive today.” We have to realize the times when we need to be assertive and practice it. In marriage there are many times when we need to be assertive with our spouse. We may need to let them know how we FEEL for instance. Being assertive is good for marriage.
I’ll tell you why.
1. It lets our spouse know how we feel
2. It tells our spouse that we have self-confidence in what we do 3. It allows us to have what we need and want
4. We become more self-assured in everything we do Assertiveness isn't being aggressive, rude or violent. Assertiveness is expressing our self properly by telling others what we want and who we are.
The behavioral characteristics of assertion include: Openness implies being clear and specific about what you want, think and feel. A lack of openness often leads to misunderstanding. “I don’t want to walk around holding your purse,” or “Stop asking me whom I’m talking to every time you see me on the phone,” are statements that are clear and unlikely to be misinterpreted. Directness means addressing the person / situation directly before you explode. For example, if you want to say something to your wife, communicate directly with her instead of mumbling under your breath. For example, if you want to watch the game and your wife chooses that time to complain about something don’t argue. Just turn to television off and listen for about five or ten minutes – it’s just a game. Then tell her that you will address her concern later but not if she disturbs you again. Then after the game do the proper thing to resolve the problem.
Honesty in communication implies that you be truthful. Tell her that the nagging is driving you crazy and the two of you need to seek a better way to communicate. Seek therapy or Biblical advice, or the wisdom of an older and wiser longtime married couple.
|< Prev||Next >|