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Becoming Judgmental in Seniorhood

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My 24-year-old son is in a Master’s Program in San Francisco where he and his girlfriend share an apartment. When he earned his Bachelor’s Degree in the state of Georgia he and the same girlfriend lived together there. They also graduated at the same time from the same college in Georgia. He and his 24- year-old girlfriend have been living together for over five years.

However, every time he has a summer or winter vacation from school and goes home to stay with his mother in Georgia he is told that he can’t bring his girlfriend. His mother and I, though unmarried, lived together (shacked-up) in the 80s and conceived our son. His girlfriend’s family feels the same way his now married and ‘holier than thou’ mother does. His girlfriend is always welcome to go home for visits but she can’t bring her boyfriend - to whom she’s not married - to her parent’s Georgia home as an overnight guest.

A possible dilemma lies in the fact that my son and his girlfriend want to come to my home in the Inland Empire to spend the summer months of June and July while they’re out of school. Both of their families in Georgia asked me to join forces with them and to help teach our adult children a lesson about the unchristian act of living together before marriage; therefore, I should reject them as houseguests. In such as a case, my son would stay with me alone or go to his mother’s house alone and his girlfriend would go to her family’s house alone until their classes reconvene in San Francisco. My position is unpopular with the families in Georgia. Although I too practice Christianity, I don’t hold my home out to be an undefiled shrine.

The Georgia families now consider me part of the problem because I welcome the unmarried couple.

I believe that too many people get older and they forget about their quest for independent thinking and decisions. Suddenly, as parents they become hypocrites while hiding behind the church. Regardless of the accusations, I don’t think that I’m encouraging sin. The reality of the current situation is that this unmarried couple already lives together and had been for the last five years.

The Bible teaches against fornication; however, the couple does not practice any particular religious denomination; therefore, they’re not violating their holy doctrine. I don’t intend to force my views on them.

They are adults. The Bible also teaches or at least admonished homosexuality. If I had a homosexual child, and I’m glad I don’t, I would also allow that adult child to stay in my home while on vacation from school with or without his or her homosexual mate – though I dread the thought. I believe that senior parents, especially those who have selectively swept their past lives under the carpet, should realize that turning their backs on the child is not washing away the sin. We should stop being so judgmental, show compassion, and learn to express our views without turning our backs.

Website: www.richardojoneslive.com

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