A married friend of mine, who shall remain anonymous, has a well-earned reputation of sleeping around. His wife, who is a Christian, continues to pray for their marriage. As my friend’s New Year’s Resolution in 2009, he vowed that he would join the church and forsake his cheating ways.
However, one year later, he has had an affair with one of the ladies in the church where he and his wife attend. My buddy now says that he feels he’s stuck in his ways. He actually came to me for advice on how to quit his philandering. He even suggested that he might be a sex addict… I don’t think so.
My friend is stuck but not in his ways – he’s stuck on stupid and I told him so. I showed no compassion for his ‘I’m stuck in my ways’ or his sex addiction excuse. He and I are friends from the 1960s and we talk quite candidly and uncut to each other. I didn’t hit him across the head with the Bible. Instead I told him that he was full of himself and would continue to indulge in his extramarital affairs as long as he didn’t have a devastating price to pay. He was no more addicted to sex as he is addicted to money though his enjoys money. Everybody enjoys the powers and benefits of money just as people enjoy the pleasure and benefits of sex. However, even the most notorious money-hungry robbers do not walk in a police station and attempt to rob all of the officers the way they do the clerk and customers in a convenience store or restaurant. Why? They are they are in control of their actions. They seek easy prey.
I asked my friend, why didn’t he walk into the women’s locker room at the gym where he belongs since attractive nude women could be found there? He admitted that he would like to but did not want to face the consequences. I told him that his answer proved to me that he was in control and was not addicted. Addicted people do not care about consequences; they only care about their need. Like a starving man is not choosey about what he eats, neither is a sex addict choosey and cannot resist a sexual opportunity. An addict is an addict. Take a heroin addict for instance. Such a person doesn’t hide their addiction very well – most everyone is aware that they use drugs and the addict doesn’t care. A drug addict would shoot the dope even if they suspected that the dope was toxic or poison dope. An addict in my estimation doesn’t allow logic or reason to stand in the way of their particular fix. Promiscuous men are just that –promiscuous. The need for discipline is in order not compassion or therapy.
My prayers are for the needy and helpless not sex crazed men that prey upon the emotions of women.
Over the years, I reminded my friend, there have been several celebrity men in the news with claims of sexual addictions after their wife or the public discovered their sexual escapades. However, it occurs to me that none of these men are caught with ugly, grossly frail or obese, one-eyed, senior citizen women in wheelchairs with warts but instead young shapely beauties. Such an observation makes me realize that these men are in control of their actions and not addicted. I could believe a sexual addict claim if the man was caught on a bus stop bench with a bag-woman on skid row. In conclusion, I told my friend to stop lying to himself and take control of his life before his wife contracts a drain-his-bank-account or a homicidal addiction.
|< Prev||Next >|