According to several senior women that I spoke with older men are often egotistical and must feel superior to their mate or it’s a short affair. The women further stated that they feel overlooked by the roving eye of older men but not primarily because of her lack of physical allure but because of their perceived wisdom. There are senior gentlemen that think feminine beauty fades after childbearing years and the older single woman might as well be invisible. However, contrary to the old fashioned male chauvinistic beliefs, most mature women are combusting with life and are no longer interested in jumping through hoops for an older mans’ attention.
The other day while waiting in the checkout line at a supermarket, I overheard the conservation between two older black women in line ahead of me. One woman said to the other, “Why is it that whenever an older woman is seen with a younger man everybody thinks he’s a Gigolo?” The other woman replied, “That’s why Douglas and I stay home so much… he gets embarrassed when people mistake me for his mother but I think it’s funny.” They both giggled and began to whisper. Their conservation made me wonder if serious love affairs between older women and younger men were commonplace, fad, or an aberration.
When I got home I called a few female friends on the subject.
It seems that younger men treat older women better than older men. Older men expect and even often demand that women conform to rigid roles. Older men treat them as property, trophies or acquisitions. And older men are more quickly offended by the smarts of a woman whereas a younger man expects an older woman to have a certain level of intelligence and isn’t intimidated by her nor tries to silence her. Plus younger men, according to my sources, are much more comfortable with their own sexuality and they seemed to prefer a smart independent woman who understands sports, politics, world affairs, and classical music whereas older men prefer uninformed dependent women.Although older men dating younger women has long been socially acceptable (or at least commonplace in many cities), older women are now dating younger men in record numbers. It may be a trend on the upswing:
Thanks to higher divorce rates and higher percentages of people who have never married, today 40 percent of the 97 million Americans 45 or older are single. Research on dating habits of these 40-plus singles is sparse, but according to an AARP survey of 3,500 older singles, 34 percent of women in the 40-to-69 age group date younger men. And 14 percent of women age 50 to 59 say they prefer dating men in their 40s or younger. According to the AARP survey, respondents cited fun and companionship as the main reasons for dating. Of the respondents—that had been married in the past—only 8 percent said they were looking for marriage. Nonetheless, more than one in 10 of these relationships leads to marriage: The most recent Census Bureau figures show that in the year 2000, 12 percent of all marriages were between older women and younger men. Women dating younger men said they appreciated the strength, humor, openness, and passion of their partners. What do the men get? I believe that there is a luxury in having great cook, a settled home, children grown and gone, and no baby’s daddy snooping around. In other words, there’s a reward to having a fully mature, experienced, and mentally sound woman.
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