Process IV: Ensure that ones mind is free to go forward. If ones Conditioned Reflex to any thought of the Trigger Event/Person or any apperceptions (like-kind associations) elicits an emotional hurt or crying, the forgiveness has not been complete. Return to Process I. When one is completely mentally free one is greatly relieved to get all of that "pus" out of ones system, as indicated by ones keystone trauma being an experience of the past. Talking about it now no longer hurts. Hence, one can look for ways of getting out of the abusive situation or at least generate ways of living comfortably within it. One way is by the "Window of Right Living Inside Chaos" method. Many stay in an abusive situation for the sake of keeping the family together but this may not be best for all involved. Perhaps getting outside world problems under control will be what is needed to make the best decision. Perhaps staying away from people who contribute to the problem will help, as in those who tell victims they are damaged goods or what happened was all their fault.
Process V: Whatever the cause of Traumatized Thinking (TT) the first of its many effects is to cause one to switch from using ones Rational, Emotional, and "Fight or Flight" portions of their brains in a balanced and appropriate manner. Instead, one operates out of ones Omnibus Brain predominant way of thinking. Since its use is limited to "Fight or Flight" situations, switch back to normal thinking balance. Shed bad habits while repairing and growing into ones Highest Self. But a word of caution is that TT's hypersensitive feelings + operating out of their Omnibus Brains has to be returned to healthy thinking in a gentle fashion and with a great deal of support. Too much toughness directed toward self-improvement is counter-productive and may act as a barrier to recovery. Yet, those in the recovery process are in great need of discipline and self-control as a starting point for learning to solve problems by Rational and Critical Thinking (CT) as well as learning the benefits of thinking with the use of principles. The established tradition of the African Age-Set system (Bailey, Freeing Enslaved Minds p163) is likely to do the most good for the most youth within the shortest period of time. Reasons for having gotten off the right path include looking in all the wrong places for Love and the "5Ss"; being unaware of or not caring about the boundaries of good societal common sense; or from actual or perceived obstructions (e.g. peer pressure) preventing one from following the right path. The self-defeating thoughts, emotions, expressions, and behaviors resulting from keystone traumas attract like-kind destructive self-talk, situations, and circumstances, particularly when one is living in a dysfunctional environment. Then the principle of correction is that "the positive is a sure antidote to the negative"--and such is applied.
Process VI: Repair and Climb pertains to oneself and others involved. Both start with Keeping ones Word--doing what one says one will do and then doing it on time and perfectly. Speak for ones hurt "inner child." Repair, correct, or replace the flaws in ones lifestyle built around ones Splintered Selfhood--and that requires making it safe for people to let one know of the obvious flaws one still has. Climb by developing immediate, short-term, and long-term goals related to discovering and developing ones talents as well as ones Mission in life. Rebuilding so as to climb starts with the Self-Esteem props destroyed by any trauma. Of keystone importance is to switch to Spiritual Energy so as to engage in multiple small successes that lead to achievements promoting Self-Confidence (Bailey, Mentoring Black Boys). Repairing damage to people is to make restitution to those who have been disrespected. Adjustment "friends" lost because of ones self-improvement helps the return to mental health. With friends who stay, one can stop feeling like a fraud by having to always deceive them. Share what is learned. Think deeply and carefully about everything one does using CT methods.
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