Process I continued: Once the keystone has been discovered it requires Assessment of the Obvious, its Hidden inner workings, and the Foundation. One assessment concerns the deceptions one has used to hide what one did not want to admit. What are those things chosen to be hidden and why? What were the chosen methods of deception? What did one have to bear to make the hiding and deception effective? How did one feel about oneself for needing to hide? It is absolutely essential to empty ones Selfhood of every little detail of what is problematic and not by following any order. Self-judgments, blaming, fault-finding, and excuses have no place for they are the tools of the weak and incompetent who are not serious in self-improvement efforts. This entails a great deal of writing because it is deeply buried in ones memory. It might start with realizing one wanted others to see one as bright, out-going, or a regular person who is on top of ones game. It will include not wanting to say anything to displease others for fear one will be challenged and have an aggravation of ones hypersensitive feelings. Usually, this pre-dates the abuse. But the difference is one now has the same reaction felt when one was struck physically for saying something that irritated the abuser. This is an example of Pavlov's Conditioned Reflex, meaning that when a bell was rung each time dogs were given food, the dogs would immediately salivate. Subsequently, when the bell would ring but without the food, the dogs would still salivate. In transferring this concept to people with hypersensitive and fragile emotions, the tendency is to convert an unrelated thing said or done by others into something related to the Trigger Event or Trigger Person. Their resultant reaction is to re-enact the painful experience. A benefit of writing is to "see" what keeps going round and round inside ones head and it seems more real to have a "seeable" paper spot for it to which one can leave and go back to at will. Since "Abuse Emotions" overrule ones power, at some point one may realize the part one is playing in the entire problem.
Process II: After peeling off the layers of "stuff" hiding the keystone, write back to the point when one realized one had personal power and mental health. Dwell in that atmosphere for a while to see how good it felt to have the "5Ss" and then make plans to return to that philosophical state as ones new goal. Part of this process is to clear the path between that goal and where one is presently. It starts with becoming aware of things as they really are. The path back to mental health necessarily demands forgiving oneself and then forgiving the Trigger Person. When the Trigger Person called one stupid this is a clear sign that person is in pain and hides by trying to look superior by putting others down. They use their Lower Self standards of being cunning and shrewd in taking advantage of others to judge whether their victims live up to that standard. If not, those victims are deemed to be weak. Within that context, good people are stupid. Some are socialized to be Philosophical Brutes while those who are themselves victims of violence imitate the Brute role for they know no other way to deal with people than through Re-enactments or direct violence. To understand this helps in the process of forgiveness. That the Abuser goes free is not ones concern.
Process III: Develop a Take Charge (self-responsibility for ones own destiny)" and "Take Control (directing ones lifestyle into providing and maintaining the "5Ss") mindset. The tools for both are Self-Discipline (training the mind for a mental and/or physical purpose in order to have mental and physical strength and toughness) and Self-Control (the restraining or regulating of ones own actions that otherwise would be expressed). Once these four become habits they can literally reshape Temperament (ones manner of thinking and behaving) by creating new nerve connections in ones brain (called neuro-plasticity)--the essence of switching habits. The first application is to stop doing harm to oneself--and in every area conceivable. This requires thought.
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