Two of my resolves as a boy were to learn what Unconditional Love is and then how to spread it. Even though I saw Unconditional Love lived in my all-Black Community, it took most of my life to sort of get a "handle" on it. I learned from having to rise above my Lower Self and its associated passions that it concerns Higher Self passions to help others and not do harm to myself. Philosophical Coping was the path that taught me the most. So the summary statement for Unconditional Love is: "Paying a heavy price to provide Selfless Service." Meanwhile, I struggled even harder to try to understand how to spread Unconditional Love. An insight came when I heard the expression: "Give the truly needy a fish so they can eat right now; teach them how to fish so they can feed themselves forever." Slowly I learned that sometimes the best way to relate to the needy is to take them to the lake where they can associate with those who know how to fish. This was followed by the necessity for sometimes taking away certain things from people so they can focus on learning how to fish -- and many of these required a slap on the buttocks to wake up and start thinking in terms of helping themselves. When to do which is typically so hard to determine that I struggle with it and thereby realize I am far away from having the wisdom to handle it.
But what is an ongoing frustrating problem for me is dealing with people whose lives would be infinitely better it they would make a change to something that has been time tested to be right. Since my desire for them to have a "Good Life" is greater than they want for themselves, I try to motivate them to remove the ceiling on their false self-imposed limitations by such methods as direct suggestions, showing them examples, using humor to illustrate, scolding, discussing it in a way they can figure out the benefits for themselves, repeating it over and over, having their friends tell them, and giving them material to read. Yet nothing works, for whatever information they receive rolls off them like water off a duck's back. Obviously, something is blocking them from receiving this information and that something could be an infinite number of things (e.g. a chaotic mind). To distinguish certain ones of them it is helpful to see what they do that can be associated as well as to realize the causes. Categories include being socialized into blocking life-shaping and life-changing information (e.g. by European Brutes and/or the victims own dysfunctional families or communities); choosing paths of thinking that are blocking out of ignorance of any better way; failing to think and allowing oneself to be swept along in the flow of chaos.
Major forms of traumatized thinking arising out of these categories include Patterned, Superficial, "Automatic Pilot", Impulsive, "Off & On," and Flawed Critical Thinking. A mixture of these in various proportions is what characterizes Traumatic Thinking and diagnostic clue is being "Unfulfilled" in ones basic Needs (e.g. food, shelter, safety) and Needy Wants (what one requires for self-esteem and non-survival self-preservation, like Love). A second clue is the need to "Escape." A third is nothing one does works to get one out of the status quo. The keystone problem is failing to do Reflection--i.e. the focusing, pondering, or meditating on significant life issues--failing to assess, examine, and analyze an issue's triad: the obvious, hidden, and foundational aspects. Thus, there can be no Foresight (“seeing” ahead and around corners) and therefore no Forethought" (doing before or during the performance of action all the “figuring out” and planning ahead before taking calculated risks). As a result, one cannot start to prepare for eventualities and take precautions against any undesirable possibilities. People who masters what they do have long ago worked out a sound plan with an awareness of the risks. They know when to apply it at the appropriate time to the appropriate situation so as to get the best results with the least chance of undesirable consequences. Look at where you are and do something!
Visit Dr. Bailey’s website at http://www.jabaileymd.com.
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