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Managing Failure's Emotional Impact

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By Joseph A. Bailey, II, M.D.

Nothing is more devastating to a human than the mindset of Despair ("no doubt" Hopelessness) and the belief of being a total Failure (empty of power). This mindset was present in the majority of the Enslaved Ancestors and its socialization has extended into many of their today's descendants. Such a mindset necessarily causes one to: (1) become Self-Absorbed and thus disregard or neglect the outside world; (2) generate disorganized thinking patterns powered by emotions related to the "Here and Now"; and (3) maintain thinking and behaving patterns which prevent the resolution of Spiritual Pain (a disconnection from Unconditional Love)--the worse of anything one can experience. Major contributors to these three include simply hearing the word "Failure" applied to them; seeing "Failure demonstrated in loved ones; and applying "Failure" to aspects of their lives from the belief of opportunities not being available at the proper time. The impact on an individual of everything associated with "Failure" + allowing others to define who that individual is dissociates that individual into a Private Self and a Public Self--one or both of which are false. Yet, they quarrel with each other because of the bad information both receive. So what to do?

Experience has taught me that anytime I have a significant problem the place to start correction is at the Beginning. Within this context, ones original mental nature is instinctual (called Feelings). Being intimately related, both Nature and Instincts spontaneously do what is right according to Cosmic Law and the Impossible does not conform to Nature. Nature is an Organism which exists and organisms grow "all at once" out of happenings from within itself called "Spontaneity." To gain an idea of how ones own nature works and how every part of Nature's being grows at the same time, watch Nature programs of animals of all types (on land and in water) and plants (e.g. those exhibiting animal type behavior, like the Venus Fly Trap). Truth and Reality expand Instinct abilities "all at once" and in every aspect of ones life. Anything short of that leads to Delusions (believing what is not real and not believing what is real). Delusions are the result of bad information and 99% of information one hears, reads, and tells oneself about oneself (i.e. negative Self-Talk) is bad. The other 1% is questionable. Pause to think when you last experienced the Truth. All Delusions are dilutions and pollutions of Truth and Reality and therefore constitute multiple layers of filth around ones true and spontaneous mental nature. A Delusional Mindset makes impossible the proper assessment of Truth and Reality. To absorb anything others say or believing negative Self-Talks are ways of clinging to the powers of "Failure" with its violent attacks on ones Self-Esteem. To allow this to happen is how one is drained of inner power--and that is the path leading to "Failure."

Many times Management cannot begin until one gets a swat on the buttock that gets ones attention in being focused and determined enough to start change and not stop until there is a successful completion. For those who cannot afford professional help, I suggest what has worked well for me over the years--i.e. write everything negative that is on ones mind. What is written is best done as clearly as one can remember. In keeping with the approach of "Free Association" writing one situation will recall similar situations--having the appearance of a hairnet or fishnet. By reviewing problematic aspects of "Failure," ones advanced maturity allows for more insights than one had when each occurred in the past. Things overlooked or considered insignificant back then may now take on new importance in light of the present situation. One meaningful thought per 10 pages is worth it. What was happening inside when acting out of rebellion? Was the rebellion over what you believed then and now to be true? The courageous will explore their contribution to the failures; discover answers to what went wrong; correct them; and know what to avoid in the future.

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