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Stumbling While Balancing

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Innumerable Black American youth desire to "Be Somebody" but either lack the proper "something" to make that happen or their thriving attempts are diluted and polluted by certain African Retentions (un-appropriate for the hostile USA marketplace); by African American Slavery Survivals; and/or those picked up in status quo oriented neighborhoods. These individuals are somewhat like the share tenants in the ex-Slave period who used their money wisely and would buy land or other things which would help them rise into an affluent state. However, what they and all other ex-Slaves shared in common was that none of them made enough money to absorb or recover from losses and those emergency disasters leaving permanent gaps in the best of the minds of our Ancestors--gaps fashioning patterns for stumbling in today's descendants. Examples include: first, Balancers/Jugglers'--by hearing only what they want to hear and converting that into the way they want it to be--fail to deal with the truth. Second, although there is a sense of belonging in sharing chronic problems ("misery loves company") with friends, many ambitious Black youth get tangled inside this side-track pattern. Third, one may fail to leave ones crowd for fear of being disloyal and appearing to be "different." Fourth is feeling "I've done enough" when its only the beginning. Fifth, is the pace at which things are done--as in the amount of time spent in the bathroom. During Slavery the Slaves moved as slowly as they could get away with and with no need to have a sense of urgency. This "take your time" pace has been handed down and is considered "normal" by youth going nowhere in life. But if they were to move up to doing things at the "normal" pace used by people who thrive in daily life, the "Slave paced" descendants would feel as if they are "Too busy." In reality they are not working at the speed of what it takes to keep up with the pace of normal life. To rise above juggling requires moving at an even greater speed.

Another form is illustrated by a 25 year old Black male who desired to get married as well as to start career launching by going back to school. Yet, he cannot figure out how to do either because of his tremendous bills and being in debt--both of which are "eating him up." Instead of finishing school he takes a "guy-thing" prestige job that is not only unstable but does not pay enough and often enough for it to support marriage and a family or to get him out of debt. Besides, he is heavily influenced by the "Big Three" social values presented to him by his peers of: "What do you do?"; "Where do you live?" and "What do you drive?" So as to "save face" he devises ways to impress them by creating a facade "affluent" appearance that makes it necessary to juggle all sorts of things. His Keystone Problem of inadequate education; its co-partner of not having enough money over the long haul; and the Satellite Problems are "alligators" keeping him from realizing his dream.

Still another is Black "Oreos" who, under gross misperceptions, pursue the White male Trinket life-patterns, using White male methods. White males can be financially successful and convey the false impression of "having it all" while being brutes inside humanity (which is about anti-love). However they have the sanction of the law and media protecting their dishonorable acts and a network that "watches their backs" which Black "Oreos" lack. Greed dictates there will never be "enough" and chronic unhappiness results. A typical Black "Oreo" was so impressed with the European male styles of getting rich and remaining rich that he imitated everything he saw and read about them. Hence, he pursued every get rich-quick "flash in the pan" scheme that appeared. To this end he often moved from one place to another; would take out mortgages on his house to be a partner with someone; and spend money he did not have in trying to appear as if he was rich (and thereby got into great debt). His chronic flawed Balancing from pursuing White male trinkets was a disaster.

www.jablifeskills.com

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