"If you love me you will do what I say!" Conforming to this antiloving manipulation can interfere with one developing the Unconditional Love that originates inside or extends into oneself.
According to my interpretation of Ancient African teachings the same principles applied in loving others are to be applied to an equal degree to oneself. Specifically, a given individual must take care of his/her Private Self, his/her Physical Body Self, and his/her Public Self (the part relating to people and Nature) in the same Ma'at fashion as one does for family. Self-Love is the creation, enhancement, maintenance, and defense of the Love Platter (the Instinct to Love; to spread Love; to be Loved; and to be Lovable). For this to happen requires one to allow Love to flow into ones Selfhood; flow "everywhere" inside ones Selfhood (e.g. ones Dignity and ones Divinity--both being the Substance of God); and flow outside and around ones Selfhood. Such occurs from one listening to the Voice of the Silence emerging out of ones Love Platter and thereby becoming aware of ones Mission in life and its sub-goals along the way. In the process one is certain that it is essential to achieve each subgoal and ultimate goal because each makes a tiny piece of the world a little better. And that is a loving action which generates a Spiritual Energy package. This awareness of doing something important in life is a major feature of African Tradition type Self-love.
Since there is no one particular way to self-love, that relieves the confining aspect associated with trying to be perfect. Rather one does things to help oneself while helping others when able to do so. It is not, as a way of life, about neglecting oneself to help others and not neglecting others in order to cater to oneself. Because it is spiritually based and is about being natural, it has no relationship to the European type of selflove which is unnatural; is manmade; and is characterized by European Cinderella fairy tale type stories whereby ones thoughts, emotions, expressions, and action are suppose to conform to a certain pattern. It is for this reason that those most heavily influenced by European propaganda concerning love and "how to live" do not know how to love themselves or how to love each other and thus become "Emotional."
One cannot love oneself if one does things to harm oneself, and this includes having bad thoughts about a Trigger Victimizer. It is an act of self-love to bring those bad thoughts to an end so as to be free, and then move with wholesome progress toward an ultimate goal.
Understanding these concepts is to realize that Harm to oneself or to others--like hate, fear, negative thoughts, evil deeds--is about whatever is disharmonious and not natural. Because harm is anti-loving, Self-Love does not embrace harm; does not do harm; does not invite harm to itself; does not allow harm to remain within oneself; will self-protect from the possibility of harm; will defend against harm; and does all it can to prevent harm. Harm comes in a variety of packages--overt, tempered, masked, and concealed. An assortment of these slavery derived hardships have led many parents of Black youth to create harm without realizing it, as in criticizing, finding fault with and putting down children; or demeaning mates in a relationship; or disrespecting Black thinkers who have ways of doing things outside the box that do not follow customs of the community. To speed recovery from slavery all anti-love criticizing and blaming within the Black community must be replaced with the type of African Love Black people understand. Members of the Black community would do well to help struggling Black parents find constructive ways for Black youth to develop their minds in areas beyond sports and entertainment--areas that tap into an individual 's Real Self, the source of Self-Love. Teaching methods include storytelling sessions concerning Black scholars and Aesop (an Ethiopian falsely represented as Greek) type fables and about the great works of African kings and queens. Each Colored individual must be honored and helped!
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