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Ones Emotional Energy

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Everyone is given the same volume of energy every 24 hours and during much of that time on any given day everybody is faced with losses, lacks, and obstacles as a routine part of their lives. Strong people recognize problems as normal; recognize that rejection and hostility from and problems generated by people are a part of life; and recognize every problem as an opportunity to extract lessons applicable to self-improvement. They are eager to push themselves past their prior best and that causes them to use every bit of their energy in the best possible way.

As result, they become very efficient and effective. Weak People do just the opposite. When a task is presented, Strong People meet it with Spiritual Energy--that which they are born with--but Weak People meet it with Emotional Energy--that which they develop. Spiritual Energy's strength comes from instinctual “stubbornness,” while Emotional Energy is much weaker because it is a man-made force. Emotional Energy (EE)-- when one is threatened or with impending danger or when experiencing danger--automatically triggers ones Selfhood "Alarm Center." Emotions not only initiate and direct actions and reactions but sustain both at a heightened state for a while. That is why coaches give "pep talks" before the game--to make the team "emotionally involved"--to "pump up" the athletes (Ornstein p64). When one is afraid, one will probably run longer and faster than otherwise. EE is personal-- as judged by the monitored feedback from ones interpreted experiences with other people and by selfishness.

Examples include being guided by likes and dislikes and being excited from the expectation of receiving gifts, recognition, or rewards. But EE quickly burns up so much energy that one is tired before completing a difficult task--and in the process its intensity varies.

Stage I EE mood swings in doing tasks starts with great enthusiasm for achievement; for personal in-process benefits (e.g. fun, doing something important); and for anticipated personal rewards at the finish line. But when they are constructively critiqued to sharpen or polish skills, their feelings and self-esteem are hurt to the point of wanting to avoid that critic, instead of extracting the lesson and making a point to improve. When losses, lacks, or obstacles are encountered their minds become inclined to "give up." Then enthusiasm fades into Stage II whereby they follow attractive distractions. Stage III is "giving up"--which starts or enhances a pattern of weakness causing reactions of avoidance whenever they are overwhelmed with difficulties. Then they go out of their way to see how they can avoid dealing with any difficult problem and instead "escape" into their "special world" where selfdefeating acts--things like procrastination; denying their problems exist; partying or taking drugs; or staying on the run are comfortable because they are familiar. These "escapes" and bad acts snowball and become vicious cycles.

When someone is concerned enough to try to help them solve problems and then offer suggestions, Weak people's first response is to say: "this won't work!" Strong people never say such a thing because it becomes a challenge, even though that type of problem is known not to have ever been solved. Weak persons do nothing to try to solve the problem because they lack courage; lack energy; lack a willingness to try; and fear failure or success. Instead of being concerned about solving the problem which benefits them and instead of being willing to push themselves to do what they know they are capable of doing, their concern is with themselves (e.g. fear of experiencing another failure if the new method does not work).

Inside their "special world" little gets done toward a destination because they do not want to disturb their comfort zone.

Ref: Bailey, Black Americans Entering the Marketplace.

website: www.jablifeskills.com